I Can't Let Go
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: She was afraid, she wanted to run away but she couldn't. She knew that somewhere Spencer was going out of his mind to find her, he was going insane and that hurt more than anything.


DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to iCarly or the characters.

A/N: Okay so I got this random idea when I was watching 'Emmerdale' and I just had to write. Please review! Italics are present tense.

SUMMARY: She was afraid, she wanted to run away but she couldn't. She knew that somewhere Spencer was going out of his mind to find her and that hurt more than anything.

TITLE: I Can't Let Go

"Carly, can we just talk about this?" Spencer asked, following her every move desperately hoping she'd say yes.

"No, Spencer I wanna do this but you won't let me." Her voice filled with anger as she looked down at the concert tickets. "Why can't I go?"

"Carly, I wanna let you go but I just don't think that…" Carly cut him off with her annoyed tone.

"When did you lose your coolness? You've let me go to loads of concerts so why not this one?"

"Because I said so, Carly you've got a math exam tomorrow and I want you to do well in it. I don't think that going to bed at one in the morning will do you any good and you can spend tonight revising." His voice was insistent and he wasn't going to back down.

"Fine but I'll never forgive you. I've been looking forward ton this for ages and now I have to miss it." As Carly stomped to her room, Spencer let the feeling of guilt wash over him. He knew that Carly was looking forward to it but she had to study because the test was 50% of her final grade. An hour passed and Carly didn't come downstairs so he knocked on her bedroom door and when there was no answer, he just wandered in anyway.

"Carly I'm sorry for not letting you go but I guess that I want you to do well and…stuff. Carly? Carly c'mon where are you?" Glancing over to the table to see an empty space, he cursed under his breath and grabbed a coat from the closet. "Carly!"

"_Are you Carly from iCarly?" A random man wearing a blue jumper asks, smiling crookedly at Carly. _

"_Yeah why? Hey get off me!" She screams, as the man clasps his arms around her waist and throws her into the car. "Wait, what the hell are you doing?" Thoughts run through her head as she struggles from his grasp. Why did she want to go to that concert? Why did she feel so implied to defy Spencer? Why wasn't Spencer here when she needed him the most? Maybe it was because she had lost all of his trust; she had lost everything that mattered to her. The mystery man places a napkin on her face as she inhales the fumes and the world drifts away from her and she lies motionless in the boot of the car. _

"Excuse me; have you seen a girl, a thirteen year old girl called Carly Shay?" Spencer shouted among the masses of people at the concert.

"Ticket please sir." The ticket master raised an eyebrow at Spencer and pointed to a sign that said tickets. "No ticket, no entry. Simple as that, I'm sorry."

"No, no I don't want a ticket, my little sister's in there and I just need to know that she definitely came here." Spencer argued with the man, Sam watching from a distance.

"Spencer?" Instantly running over to her, Spencer clasped his hands on her arms as she spotted the worry in his eyes. "Spencer what's wrong?"

"Is Carly with you? Is she in the bathroom please tell me she's in the bathroom?" His words were rushed and intertwined with concern.

"No, Carly never showed up and I waited for her outside but she never came. I thought she was at home with you doing that pointless thing called studying." The worry inside her heart grew more as Spencer explained the story.

_She opens her eyes and notices the rope tied tightly around her. She wants to scream but she can't because something inside her stops her. Is it the fact that the man looks menacing and there is some threatening looking knifes in a block on the counter? She's in someone's house… basement. It is dark and she can only see because of gaps in the blind which let tiny amounts of light man walks over and crouches besides her, revealing his crooked yellow teeth in a horrific smile. "Should we make a fun little episode of iCarly?" His whispers taunted her as she lets two salty tears drip from her lashes. Equally, the rain falls in both Seattle and in Spencer's heart. All he wants is his little sister to smile at him. To see her laugh and cry, to help her through her hardest time but he knows that that can't be. Blinking back the few tears left in her eyes, she struggles to escape from the rope chains around her. All she wants is to see Spencer, to tell him her problems and to know that he will be the big brother she needs but she knows that can't be. When the men leave, she is alone as always. Alone, lost and in total eerie silence. The rain falls harder on the roof, so do her tears on the floor underneath her. _

"What are we gonna do?" Sam asked, her eyes a picture of emotion.

"Nothing, we go home until tomorrow when we phone the police." Sam opened her mouth to speak but met Spencer's challenging expression so nodded and followed him to the car. "You want me to drop you off home or do you wanna come with me to see if she's at the apartment? She might have gone home while we were searching." Spencer's voice held seldom hope and when they arrived home and Carly wasn't there, Sam knew exactly why.

"Mind if I crash here in case she comes back?" Shaking his head, he slammed the car keys on the kitchen counter and kept his gaze to the floor. "Spencer…" He cut her off with his almost silent cries. "Don't cry please."

"My sister, my little sister who my dad trusts me to look after is missing and I have no idea where she is. If only I'd known where she was I could've been there to stop her. I should've been there to stop her." Spencer blamed himself and there was still a speck of hope inside saying that he would find her. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms beneath the stars and tell her that it would be okay like the big broth her was.

"Spencer, you have to let go. She'd be home by now and…" Sam trailed off because she didn't want to believe what she would say next.

"No, no I can't let go… I won't let go because hope is the only thing making my life worth it. I need Carly back and I won't stop until I have her back." Sam fell silent after that and placed a sympathetic arm around Spencer. Carly was her best friend and now she was gone, an empty space hung in her heart.

_She wanted to run away but she couldn't. She knew that somewhere Spencer was going out of his mind to find her and that hurt the most. She knew that he was being driven insane by this and her worry for him made the situation even more difficult than it already was. _

"_Look, little Carly all alone with no one left. Where's your boyfriend? Hmm, where's Freddie Benson? No, little boyfriend aint here is he?" He was right, Freddie wasn't there and neither was Sam or Spencer. She wipes away a few tears as they keep on pointing the camera in her face. She feels a stab of pain in her heart because she knows that her closest friends and her closest family member are watching. They see her hurt, her pain and her tears. They want to make it all better but they can't because they don't know where she is. She cries harder and tells them to leave her alone but they don't listen and they taunt her more. "Aw, breaks your heart doesn't it? Well Carly, no one will save you this time." She drops her head to her knees because she knows that it's the truth. She knows that no one is coming and that's what makes her hold on to life, hope that someone will come and end this madness. _

He was going mad, crazed by his worry for Carly, for his little sister that meant so much to him. As morning came, he lived his normal life. He woke, he had breakfast, he worked on his sculptures but something was different. Carly wasn't there. He had seen that iCarly episode, watched his little sister cry and wished that he could help her but he couldn't. He had phoned the police but it hadn't been twenty-four hours yet so he would ring them back later. As he remembered that horrible iCarly episode yesterday, pictures ran through his mind. He remembered that place, that hall way, that basement he remembered it all from his childhood. He went there with his friends because it was supposedly haunted and he knew where it was but there were a lot of houses like that, it could be a different one. He didn't want to wake up Sam so he carefully opened the door and locked it behind him. One teen had gone missing; he didn't want another one to.

_The sun shines through the door as Carly feels two arms around her. She opens her eyes to adjust to the level of brightness but all she sees is fuzz. Her head hurts and she feels a cut scabbed over on her forehead. The arms untie her and she blinks a few times to make the figure come into vision. She sees the brown, mop like hair and the luminous socks and she instantly knows who it is. When her arms are loosened, she places them around him and holds him close to her. She never wants this hug to end because she knows that it could've been her last one before in the apartment. He wipes away the stray tears and then smiles, making her day brighter and suddenly, all feelings of fear disappear. She feels no pain, no hurt just safety in Spencer's arms. She feels protected from the world and he knows that so he holds her tighter and smiles once more. _

"_Never scare me that again." He whispers in her ear as he nods and buries her head in his chest. _

"_I won't, I promise." He nods and leads her out of the building that has witnessed so much hurt and pain. When they get home, he tucks her into bed and tells her that it'll all be okay and that she should forget everything that happened because she is safe now and she believes him because he never lies and because he is the most important person in her life. She knows that it'll take time and that she can't just wish it all away but she too knows that Spencer will help her through it and she will help him because that's what siblings do. When he leaves her room, he tells himself not to be afraid because the memories will fade but inside, he doesn't truly believe that. He tries to find the truth in his mind about what happened but he can't because he doesn't want to admit it to himself. He knows that Carly is safe now, tucked away in bed and to him that was all that mattered. He walks back into her room for one final look at his sleeping sister and pulls the covers up to her neck then kisses her forehead. _

"_Night kiddo." He whispers in a sleepy tone and smiles, closing the door behind him and drifting off to blissful sleep in his own room. He knew that when her world crumbled and she felt alone, he would always be there to pick up the pieces and Carly knew that too. Now he would have no more nightmares, no more sleepless nights were he is too scared to sleep because Carly was back and she wasn't leaving him. _

**A/N: **Please Review even if it is bad because I do so love feedback. : D


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